20 May 14:24
2 days ago
photoset
♥ 1,479 notes
  

—It’s a primitive culture. I’m just trying to blend in.
—You’re blended, alright.

19 May 19:12
3 days ago
photoset
♥ 932 notes
  

16 Apr 6:00
1 month ago
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♥ 2,814 notes
  

gyzym:

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i want you to imagine you’re at a dinner party, and for dessert, your host is serving apple pie. now, you’re not really an apple pie sort of person normally — you like it from time to time, but you’re awfully picky about it, and if it’s not done just right, it’s not for you — so you pass on taking some when it gets passed around. but then everyone else starts exclaiming about how delicious this pie is, how crisp it is, how flavorful, how amazing it was in star trek, so you take a piece just to see what all the fuss is about. and sure enough, it’s delicious. it’s so delicious, in fact, that you start asking questions about it, bothering the host for the recipe, paying a lot more attention to what a well-made pie it really is. and then it turns out the pie studied english literature at berekely and sometimes gets photographed reading to small children, that the pie regularly walks around in hilariously failtastic hipster-douche plaid and engages in ~intellectual competitions~ with other pies it knows, and the more you learn, the more the taste of the pie starts to curdle in your mouth. it’s so delicious that it’s TOO delicious, and probably you’re going to have cravings for this pie now whether you want them or not and you don’t, you don’t want those cravings, you don’t even LIKE apple pie. so you try to tell yourself you don’t like it that much really, that it’s not that good, that it’s probably the sort of pie that’s a total dick in real life and not in the endearing way like it comes off in interviews either, but it doesn’t help. it doesn’t make the pie any less fantastic, it doesn’t make you enjoy the pie any less, and you become consumed with your frustration at this fact — how dare this pie come along and make you hunger after it? how DARE this pie be so crisp and flavorful and fantastic in star trek? HOW DARE THIS PIE GO TO MUSIC FESTIVALS WITH A SALT AND PEPPER BEARD?? — until eventually you are standing on a table in front of the whole party, an empty pie dish held over your head, screaming “WHY WOULD ANYONE EVEN MAKE THIS PIE”

and that’s why i hate chris pine.

10 Apr 8:00
1 month ago
chat
♥ 18,349 notes
  

  • (We’re taking a calculus final. The TA is a well-known Lord of the Rings fan, and we’ve had running LotR jokes all semester.)
  • TA: “Okay, guys, everyone look at me. We’ve been over the rules, but just in case: no notes, pencil your answers in on the scantron sheet, and graphing calculators only – no more ‘can I just used my cell phone’ nonsense.”
  • Student: “[TA's name], my calculator batteries just died! What should I do?”
  • TA: “Here, I’ve got a big box of spares.”
  • Student: *struggling* “I can’t get this packaging open…”
  • Student 2: “Here, I’ve got a pocket knife.”
  • TA: “And I’ve got a pair of scissors if you need them.”
  • Student 3: *from the back of the room* “OR MY AXE!”
  • (Everyone starts laughing.)
  • TA: “The only axes allowed on the exam are in the graph section.”
  • (Everyone groans.)
  • TA: “Oh, come on, you’re in a math class. Deal with the math jokes.”
  • (The professor enters with a stack of exams. With him are two exam proctors.)
  • Professor: “Tolkien jokes already, [TA's name]?”
  • TA: “Hey, I didn’t start it.”
  • (The professor starts handing stacks of exams to the TA and proctors.)
  • Professor: “But I’m about to finish it. [TA], take these exams down the left flank. [Proctor 1], follow the desks down the center. [Proctor 2], take your exams right, along the wall.”
  • (At this point, many of the students have realized where this is going: Theoden’s lines from ‘Return of the King.’)
  • Professor: “Forth, and fear no problems! Solve! Solve, students of calculus! Points shall be taken, scores shall be splintered! A pencil day! A red-ink day! Until three thirty!”
  • (The professor pulls out a pencil, holding it out like a sword, and runs down the first row holding it out. Students hold up their pencils, hitting his as he passes.)
  • Professor: “Solve now! Solve now! Solve to good grades and the class ending! MAAATH!”
  • Entire Class: “MAAATH!”
  • Professor: “MAAAAATH!”
  • Entire Class: “MAAAAAATH!”
  • Professor: “Forth, exam-takers!”
  • (The entire class rises to their feet and gives him a standing ovation. A week later, we get an email from the professor.)
  • Professor: *at the end of the email* “PS: I appreciate all of you who wrote in their evaluations that I was the one professor to rule them all, but the best one yet was the student who called me ‘Mathrandir.’”
1 Apr 13:00
1 month ago
photoset
♥ 10,695 notes
  

kerrigans:

omg hulu right now.

30 Mar 4:00
1 month ago
photoset
♥ 1,187 notes
  

13 Mar 23:00
2 months ago
photo
♥ 46,877 notes
  

rectumofglory:

teacakes:

#WHITEGIRLSWAG

i’ve been laughing at this for 20 years

11 Mar 20:00
2 months ago
text
♥ 19,854 notes
  

Scrolling through the Waterstone’s Twitter is my new favourite pastime

at-the-barricades-of-freedom:

Let’s take a look at a few of my favs so far;

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Sassy Waterstones worker, I love you,

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And well this is true:

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Sometimes I do worry about their psyche though:

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They make up cool new words;

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They’re a sassy little shit.

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And best of all, the Holden debacle;

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And one more for good luck:

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4 Mar 9:00
2 months ago
photo
♥ 75,399 notes
  

rectumofglory:

teal-deer:

youarenotyou:

sktagg23:

fat-grrrl-activism:

“In 1921, early suffragettes often donned a bathing suit and ate pizza in large groups to annoy men…it was a custom at the time”

(via Cult of Aphrodite Vintaga)

Four for you, ladies.

oh my god 

can we bring this back

like I’m not even kidding 

slutwalk with pizza 

I WANT A PIZZA WALK

1 Mar 1:00
2 months ago
video
♥ 1,274 notes
  

letao:

cacklingwitchitywitch:

fuckyeahstartrek:

This could have looped for 24 hours and I would have watched the whole thing.

This gets better the longer I watch it.

This is the best video on the internet.